Jesus Can Suck My Cock

Doug Stanhope: Voice of America - Dumb Television

2012-01-04T00:37:00.000-05:00

My New Year's Resolution For 2012

2012-01-01T21:22:00.001-05:00

I'm just gonna carry over my past resolutions and once again try my hardest to get this little slut Jesus to finally suck my cock.

Here's hoping!

Merry Shopping Time

2011-12-25T21:35:00.001-05:00

Q: What's the difference between jesus and a vagina?

A: A vagina is still good after a couple of nails..

Happy Christmas - Redux... Again... And Again... And Again...

2011-12-24T21:19:00.000-05:00

Jim Jefferies - God Is For Idiots

2011-12-18T20:22:00.000-05:00

The Most Interesting Man In The World

2011-12-17T19:38:00.000-05:00

The Iraq War Is Over - America Goes Home

2011-12-16T20:52:00.008-05:00

Yesterday, the U.S. marked the end of the Iraq War.

Nearly nine years on, there was no George Bush style "Mission Accomplished" banner flying overhead. No one in attendance was cheering either. In fact, no Iraqi politicians even bothered to attend.

The nearly 45 minute military parade at the fortified Baghdad airport went on to finally bid farewell to America's military presence in Iraq, in large part any way.

There are still about 4,000 troops left in the country - they will leave completely by the new year. There was once a high point when 170,000 American troops were deployed there.

Approximately 4,500 American soldiers, and more than 100,000 Iraqi civilians have died in the American lead war. Approximately 32,000 American soldiers were also wounded. The war cost America $1 trillion. That's "Trillion" - with a "T".

The U.S. has also left the government of Iraq 4 million pieces of military and civilian equipment, valued at $580 million.

75% of US citizens do not believe the mission has been worth the “blood and treasure” and are happy to see their forces return home.

President Obama addressed troops, saying, "Iraq's future will be in the hands of its people. America's war in Iraq will be over."

What a ride.

Who Are The 1%

2011-12-15T15:24:00.002-05:00

The below text is from the web site "who are the 1 percent" that you can visit by clicking here.

"Who’s using their wealth to exploit the 99%? You tell us. Start voting by rating any of the nominees below on a scale of “ho-hum” to “pure evil.” Then you’ll be taken through the list of nominees, person by person, to rate each one. Our job will be to make a series of videos exposing the ones you rate as the worst. So go ahead. Take your democracy back."

Josh Thomas

2011-12-14T19:35:00.002-05:00

America Is Clearly Living In A Different Time

2011-12-13T14:52:00.000-05:00

Notice anything different about the December 5th issue of TIME Magazine being sold in America?

Well for starters, every other country where it's sold has it's front cover plastered with images of revolution and democratic awakening the world over. But in America, the front page is about how stress is good for you.

Wow. Even Orwell couldn't make this shit up.

I wounder why the American media would choose to be the only country to censure this? Maybe because they don't want their own population to wake up even more in the face of the Occupy Movement? Maybe...

Seriously though America, you know that people have the internet right? And we can look right through little ploys like this.

Well, I for one am going right back to getting my facts about the rest of the world, by watching Fox News.

Lawrence Krauss

2011-12-12T19:30:00.002-05:00

"You couldn't be here if stars hadn't exploded... so forget Jesus, the stars died so that you could be here today." - Lawrence Krauss

Catholic Cardinals And Bishops Refuse To Shake Hands With Pope!

2011-12-11T14:47:00.002-05:00

Less Quoted Jesus Sayings No. 29

2011-12-10T01:19:00.001-05:00

"This calls for a Bud Lite" - Jesus

Bradley Manning To Go Before Panel

2011-12-09T15:34:00.000-05:00

After 18 months of military confinement, US soldier and whistleblower Bradley Manning will finally appear before a panel in an Article 32 hearing this month.

Its only going to be his first appearance though, but both sides will be able to call and cross-examine witnesses - and its expected to last about five days. Manning defense team plans to call at least 50 witnesses.

Manning was arrested because he is under suspicion of leaking a huge amount of state information to WikiLeaks.

There is reason to deduce that Manning has been subjected to nothing short of torture and inhumane punishment while in US military confinement... shocking.

Manning was arrested in May 2010, and is only now appearing before a military panel.

John Lennon Died Today Back In 1980 - Imagine

2011-12-08T14:38:00.001-05:00

A Broken Iraq In Pictures #18

2011-12-07T20:35:00.001-05:00

"Did Jesus Die For Klingons Too?"

2011-12-06T03:40:00.003-05:00

In a panel titled "Did Jesus die for Klingons too?", theologian Christian Weidemann of Ruhr-University Bochum put forth the question if Jesus sacrificed himself for humans alone, or maybe others beyond the stars too.

Enter condrum. Da da daaaaaa.

Weidemann mentioned that either:

A.) Jesus sacrificed himself for each alien civilization. or
B.) humans are simply in a privileged position

The following is from The Daily Mail:

The alternative, posits Weidemann, is that Jesus chose earthlings as the single race to save and abandoned every other life form in the galaxy.

Or, it could have been because humans were the only race who had sinned and required 'saving', said Weidemann, who added: 'You can grasp the conflict.'

'If there are extra-terrestrial intelligent beings at all, it is safe to assume that most of them are sinners too [...] If so, did Jesus save them too? My position is no. If so, our position among intelligent beings in the universe would be very exceptional.'

Among Weidemann's suggestions as to how Jesus and God may have tackled the issue of visiting other alien planets, he argues it is possible God could have sent multiple incarnations of Himself into space, with one attending each inhabited planet.

Given scientists' best guesses as to how many civilisations there may be in space, that would require around 250 incarnations of God to exist at any one time.

More Than George Carlins 7 Dirty Words

2011-12-03T13:48:00.004-05:00

The Pakistan Telecommunication Authority dosen't want certain words (1109 of them) texted by any Pakistani citizen. So I decided to list all of them here. Enjoy.

A.S.S., ANAL, ANAL ANNIE, ANAL SEX, ANALANNIE, ANALSEX, ANUS, ARSE, ASS, ASS BAGGER, ASS BLASTER, ASS CLOWN, ASS COWBOY, ASS FUCK, ASS FUCKER, ASS HOLE, ASS HOLES, ASS HORE, ASS JOCKEY, ASS KISS, ASS KISSER, ASS KLOWN, ASS LICK, ASS LICKER, ASS LOVER, ASS MAN, ASS MONKEY, ASS MUNCH, ASS MUNCHER, ASS PACKER, ASS PIRATE, ASS PUPPIES, ASS RANGER, ASS WHORE, ASS WIPE, ASSBAGGER, ASSBLASTER, ASSCLOWN, ASSCOWBOY, ASSFUCK, ASSFUCKER, ASSHOLE, ASSHOLES, ASSHORE, ASSJOCKEY, ASSKISS, ASSKISSER, ASSKLOWN, ASSLICK, ASSLICKER, ASSLOVER, ASSMAN, ASSMONKEY, ASSMUNCH, ASSMUNCHER, ASSPACKER, ASSPIRATE, ASSPUPPIES, ASSRANGER, ASSWHORE, ASSWIPE, ATHLETES FOOT, ATHLETESFOOT, AXING THE WEASEL, B HARD, BACK DOOR, BACK DOOR MAN, BACKDOOR, BACKDOORMAN, BACKSEAT, BAD ASS, BAD FUCK, BADFUCK, BALL LICKER, BALL SACK, BALLLICKER, BALLSACK, BANGING, BARELY LEGAL, BARELYLEGAL, BARF, BARF FACE, BARFACE, BARFFACE, BASTARD, BAZONGAS, BAZOOMS, BEASTALITY, BEASTIALITY, BEAT OFF, BEAT YOUR MEAT, BEATOFF, BEAT-OFF, BEATYOURMEAT, BI SEXUAL, BIATCH, BIG ASS, BIG BITCH, BIG BITCH, BIG BUTT, BIGASS, BIGBASTARD, BIGBUTT, BISEXUAL, BI-SEXUAL, BITCH, BITCHES, BITCHIN, BITCHY, BITE ME, BITEME, BLACK OUT, BLACKOUT, BLOW JOB, BLOWJOB, BONER, BOOBIES, BOOBS, BOODY, BREAST, BREAST JOB, BREAST LOVER, BREAST MAN, BREASTJOB, BREASTLOVER, BREASTMAN, BUDWEISER, BULL CRAP, BULL DIKE, BULL DYKE, BULL SHIT, BULLCRAP, BULLDIKE, BULLDYKE, BULLSHIT, BUMBLE FUCK, BUMBLEFUCK, BUMFUCK, BUNGHOLE, BUTCH BABES, BUTCH DIKE, BUTCH DYKE, BUTCHBABES, BUTCHDIKE, BUTCHDYKE, BUTT BANG, BUTT FUCK, BUTT FUCKER, BUTT FUCKERS, BUTT HEAD, BUTT MAN, BUTT PLUG, BUTT STAIN, BUTTBANG, BUTT-BANG, BUTTFACE, BUTTFUCK, BUTT-FUCK, BUTTFUCKER, BUTT-FUCKER, BUTTFUCKERS, BUTT-FUCKERS, BUTTHEAD, BUTTMAN, BUTTPIRATE, BUTTPLUG, BUTTSTAIN, CAMEL TOE, CAMELTOE, CARPET MUNCHER, CARPETMUNCHER, CARRUTH, CHERRY POPPER, CHERRYPOPPER, CHICK SLICK, CHICKSLICK, CLAM DIGGER, CLAM DIVER, CLAMDIGGER, CLAMDIVER, CLIT, CLITORIS, COCK, COCK BLOCK, COCK BLOCKER, COCK COWBOY, COCK FIGHT, COCK KNOB, COCK LICKER, COCK LOVER, COCK NOB, COCK QUEEN, COCK RIDER, COCK SMITH, COCK SUCKER, COCK TAIL, COCK TEASE, COCKBLOCK, COCKBLOCKER, COCKCOWBOY, COCKFIGHT, COCKHEAD, COCKKNOB, COCKLICKER, COCKLOVER, COCKNOB, COCKQUEEN, COCKRIDER, COCKS MAN, COCKSMAN, COCKSMITH, COCKSUCER, COCKSUCKER, COCKTAIL, COCKTEASE, COCKY, CONDOM, COPULATE, CORN HOLE, CORNHOLE, CRACK PIPE, CRACK WHORE223, CRACKPIPE224, CRACKWHORE225, CRACK-WHORE, CRAP, CRAPPY, CREAMY, CROTCH, CROTCH JOCKEY, CROTCH MONKEY, CROTCH ROT, CROTCHJOCKEY, CROTCHMONKEY, CROTCHROT, CUM, CUM BUBBLE, CUM FEST, CUM JOCKEY, CUM QUAT, CUM QUEEN, CUM SHOT, CUMBUBBLE, CUMFEST, CUMJOCKEY, CUMM, CUMMING, CUMQUAT, CUMQUEEN, CUMSHOT, CUNNILINGUS, CUNT, CUNT FUCK, CUNT FUCKER, CUNT LICKER, CUNTFUCK, CUNTFUCKER, CUNTLICKER, CYBER SEX, CYBER SLIMER, CYBERSEX, CYBERSLIMER, DAHMER, DAMN, DAMN IT, DAMNIT, DATNIGGA, DEAP THROAT, DEAPER, DEAPTHROAT, DEEP THROAT, DEEPER, DEEPTHROAT, DEFECATE, DEPOSIT, DEVIL, DICK BRAIN, DICK FART, DICK FOR BRAINS, DICK HEAD, DICK LICK, DICK LICKER, DICK LIKCER, DICK WAD, DICK WEED, DICKBRAIN, DICKFORBRAINS, DICKHEAD, DICKLESS, DICKLICK, DICKLICKER, DICKMAN, DICKWAD, DICKWEED, DIKE, DILDO, DIP STICK, DIPSTICK, DIRTY HO, DIXIE DIKE, DIXIE DYKE, DIXIEDIKE, DIXIEDYKE, DO ME, DOGGIE STYLE,. DOGGIESTYLE, DOGGY STLYE, DOGGYSTYLE, DOME, DONG, DOPE, DRAG QUEEN, DRAGQUEEN, DRAGQWEEN, DRIP DICK, DRIPDICK, DRUNK, DRUNKEN, DUMB ASS, DUMB BITCH, DUMB FUCK, DUMBASS, DUMBBITCH, DUMBFUCK, EASY SLUT, EASYSLUT, EAT ME, EAT PUSSY, EATBALLS, EATME, EATPUSSY, EJACULATE, ERECTION, EVL, EXCREMENT, F.U.C.K., FACE FUCKER, FACEFUCKER, FAGGOT, FAGOT, FAIRY, FANNY FUCKER, FANNYFUCKER, FART, FAST FUCK, FASTFUCK, FAT ASS, FAT FUCK, FAT FUCKER, FATASS, FATFUCK, FATFUCKER, FATSO, FELLATIO, FEMME, FINGER FOOD, FINGER FUCK, FINGER FUCKER, FINGERFOOD, FINGERFUCK, FINGERFUCKER, FIST FUCK, FIST FUCKER, FISTFUCK, FISTFUCKER, FISTING, FLASHER, FLATULENCE, FLOGGIN THE DOLPHIN, FONDLE, FOOT FUCK, FOOT FUCKER, FOOT LICKER, FOOTACTION, FOOTFUCK, FOOTFUCKER, FOOTLICKER, FOOTSTAR, FORE SKIN, FORESKIN, FORNICATE, FOUR, FOUR TWENTY, FOUR20, FOURTWENTY, FREAK FUCK, FREAKFUCK, FREAKY FUCKER, FREAKYFUCKER, FREE FUCK, FREEFUCK, FUCK, FUCK BAG, FUCK BUDDY, FUCK FACE, FUCK FEST, FUCK FREAK, FUCK FRIEND, FUCK HEAD, FUCK HER, FUCK IT, FUCK KNOB, FUCK ME, FUCK ME HARD, FUCK MONKEY, FUCK OFF, FUCK PIG, FUCK THEM, FUCK WHORE, FUCK YOU, FUCKA, FUCKABLE, FUCKBAG, FUCKBUDDY, FUCKED, FUCKED UP, FUCKEDUP, FUCKER, FUCKERS, FUCKFACE, FUCKFEST, FUCKFREAK, FUCKFRIEND, FUCKHEAD, FUCKHER, FUCKIN, FUCKIN A, FUCKIN NUTS, FUCKIN RIGHT, FUCKINA, FUCKING, FUCKING A, FUCKING BITCH, FUCKING NUTS, FUCKINGBITCH, FUCKINNUTS, FUCKINRIGHT, FUCKIT, FUCKKNOB, FUCKME, FUCKMEHARD, FUCKMONKEY, FUCKOFF, FUCKPIG, FUCKWHORE, FUCKYOU, FUDGE PAKCERS, FUN FUCK, FUNFUCK, FUUCK, G UNIT, GANG BANG, GANG BANGER, GANGBANG, GANGBANGER, GAY, GAY ASS, GAY MUTHA FUCKIN QUEER, GAY PRIDE, GAYMUTHAFUCKINWHORE, GENITAL, GET IT ON, GETITON, GIEHN, GIVE HEAD, GIVEHEAD, GLAZED DONUT, GLAZEDDONUT, GO TO HELL, GOD DAMED MUTHA FUCKA, GOD DAMIT, GOD DAMN, GOD DAMNED, GOD MANIT, GODDAMIT, GODDAMN, GODDAMNED, GODDAMNES, GODDAMNIT, GODDAMNMUTHAFUCKER, GONORREHEA, GONZAGAS, GOOK, GOT JESUS, GOT2HAVEIT, GOTOHELL, G-UNIT, HAND JOB, HANDJOB, HARD ON, HARDER, HARDON, HAREM, HE HATE ME, HEAD FUCK, HEAD LIGHTS, HEADFUCK, HEADLIGHTS, HEHATEME, HELL NO, HELL YES, HELLNO, HELLYES, HEN HOUSE, HENHOUSE, HERPES, HERSHEY HI WAY, HERSHEYHIGHWAY, HERSHEYHIWAY, HERSHY HIGH WAY, HO MO, HOBO, HOLE, HOLE STUFFER, HOLESTUFFER, HOMO, HOMO BANGERS, HOMO SEXUAL, HOMOBANGERS, HOMOSEXUAL, HONKERS, HONKEY, HOOKER, HOOKERS, HOOTERS, HORE, HORNEY, HORNY, HORSESHIT, HOSE JOB, HOSEJOB, HOSER, HOSTAGE, HOT DAMN, HOT PUSSY, HOT TO TROT, HOT2TROT, HOTDAMN, HOTPUSSY, HOTTOTROT, HUSSY, HUSTLER, ID10T, IDIOT, IDOIT, IN THE ASS, IN THE BUFF, INGIN, INSEST, INTER COURSE, INTER RACIAL, INTERCOURSE, INTERRACIAL, INTHEASS, INTHEBUFF, JACK THE RIPPER, JACKASS, JACKOFF, JACKTHERIPPER, JAP, JAP CRAP, JAPCRAP, JERK OFF, JERKOFF, JESUS CHIRST, JESUSCHRIST, JISM, JIZ, JIZ JUICE, JIZIM, JIZJUICE, JIZZ, JIZZIM, JOINT, JUGGALO, JUGS, K MART, KILL, KILLER, KILLING, KISS ASS, KISSASS, KKK, KMART, KNOCKERS, KOON, KOTEX, KRAP, KRAPPY, KUM, KUM BUBBLE, KUM QUAT, KUMBUBBLE, KUMBULLBE, KUMQUAT, KUNT5, KY, KY JELLY, LACTATE, LADY BOOG, LAID, LAP DANCE, LAPDANCE, LESBAIN, LESBAYN, LESBIAN, LESBIN, LESBO, LEZ, LEZ BE, LEZ BE FRIENDS, LEZBE, LEZBEFRIENDS, LEZBO, LEZZ, LEZZO, LICK ME, LICKER, LICKME, LIMP DICK, LIMPDICK, LIMY, LIVE SEX, LIVESEX, LOLITA, LOOSER, LOTION, LOVE BONE, LOVE GOO, LOVE GUN, LOVE JUICE, LOVE MUSCLE, LOVE PISTOL, LOVE ROCKET, LOVEBONE, LOVEGOO, LOVEGUN, LOVEJUICE, LOVEMUSCLE, LOVEPISTOL, LOVEROCKET, LOW LIFE, LOWLIFE, LUBE JOB, LUBEJOB, LUCKY CAMEL TOE, LUCKYCAMMELTOE, MAMS, MAN HATER, MAN PASTE, MANHATER, MANPASTE, MARY JANE, MARYJANE, MASTABATE, MASTABATER, MASTER BLASTER, MASTERBATE, MASTERBLASTER, MASTRABATOR, MATTRESS PRINCESS, MATTRESSPRINCESS, MEAT BEATTER, MEATBEATTER, MOLEST, MOLESTER, MOLESTOR, MONEY SHOT, MONEYSHOT, MOTHER FUCKER, MOTHER LOVE BONE, MOTHERFUCK, MOTHERFUCKER, MOTHERLOVEBONE, MUFF, MUFF DIVE, MUFF DIVER, MUFF LICKER, MUFFDIVE, MUFFDIVER, MUFFIN DIVER, MUFFINDIVER, MUFFLIKCER, MURDER, MUTHA FUCKER, NAKED, NASTY BITCH, NASTY HO, NASTY SLUT, NASTY WHORE, NASTYBITCH, NASTYHO, NASTYSLUT, NASTYWHORE, NEON DEON, NIG, NIGER, NIGGA, NIGGER, NIPPLE, NIPPLE RING, NIPPLERING, NIT TIT, NITTIT, NO FUCKING WAY, NO SEX, NOFUCKINGWAY, NOOKIE, NOONER, NUDE, NUT FUCKER, NUTFUCKER, OICU, ON THE RAG, ONTHERAG, ORGASM, ORGY, OU, OUI, P I M P, PEARL NECKLACE, PEARLNECKLACE, PECKER, PEE, PEEP SHOW, PEEPSHOW, PEEPSHPW, PENETRATION, PENIS, PENTHOUSE, PERIOD, PHQUE, PIMP, PIMP SIMP, PIMPED, PIMPER, PIMPJUIC, PIMPJUICE, PIMPSIMP, PISS, PISS HEAD, PISSED, PISSER, PISSHEAD, PLAY BOY, PLAY GIRL, PLAYBOY, PLAYGIRL, POCKET POOL, POCKETPOOL, POLACK, POON TANG, POONTANG, POOP, POOPER, POOR WHITE TRASH, POORWHITETRASH, POPIMP, PORCH MONKEY, PORCHMONKEY, PORN, PORN FLICK, PORN KING, PORN PRINCESS, PORNFLICK, PORNKING, PORNO, PORNPRINCESS, PREMATURE, PRICK, PRICK HEAD, PRICKHEAD, PRIMETIME, PROSTITUTE, PUBIC, PUBIC LICE, PUBICLICE, PUD, PUD BOY, PUDBOY, PUDD, PUDD BOY, PUDDBOY, PUN TANG, PUNTANG, PURINA PRINCESS, PURINAPRICNESS, PUSSY, PUSSY CAT, PUSSY EATER, PUSSY FUCKER, PUSSY LICKER, PUSSY LIPS, PUSSY LOVER, PUSSY POUNDER, PUSSYCAT, PUSSYEATER, PUSSYFUCKER, PUSSYLICKER, PUSSYLIPS, PUSSYLOVER, PUSSYPOUNDER, PUTT PIRATE, PWT, QUEEF, QUEER, QUICKIE, RAE CARRUTH, RAPE, RAPIST, REAR END, REAR ENTRY, REAREND, REARENTRY, RECTUM, RED LIGHT, REDLIGHT, REEFER, RENT A FUCK, RENTAFUCK, RETARD, RETARDED, RIBBED, RIM JOB, RIMJOB, ROACH, ROBBER, S AND M, S&M, SAMCKDADDY, SANDM, SATAN, SCHLONG, SCREW, SCREW YOU, SCREWYOU, SCROTUM, SEMEN, SEX, SEX FARM, SEX HOUND, SEX HOUSE, SEX KITTEN, SEX POT, SEX SLAVE, SEX TO GO, SEX TOY, SEX TOYS, SEX WHORE, SEXFARM, SEXHOUND, SEXHOUSE, SEXKITTEN, SEXPOT, SEXSLAVE, SEXTOGO, SEXTOY, SEXTOYS, SEXUAL, SEXWHORE, SEXY, SEXY BIATCH, SEXY BITCH, SEXY MOMA, SEXY SLIM, SEXYMOMA, SEXY-SLIM, SHAG, SHAGGIN, SHAGGING, SHAWTYPIMP, SHIT, SHIT DICK, SHIT EATER, SHIT FACE, SHIT FOR BRAINS, SHIT FUCK, SHIT FUCKER, SHIT HAPPENS, SHIT HEAD, SHIT OUT OF LUCK, SHIT STAIN, SHIT4BRAINS, SHITDICK, SHITEATER, SHITFACE, SHITFORBRAINS, SHITFUCK, SHITFUCKER, SHITHAPENS, SHITHAPPENS, SHITHEAD, SHITOUTOFLUCK, SHITS, SHITSTAIN, SHITTER, SHITTING, SHITTY, SHORT FUCK, SHORTFUCK, SHOWTIME, SIX SIX SIX, SIXSIXSIX, SIXTY 9, SIXTY NINE9, SIXTY9, SIXTYNINE, SKANK, SKANK BITCH, SKANK FUCK, SKANK WHORE, SKANKBITCH, SKANKFUCK, SKANKWHORE, SKANKY BITCH, SKANKY WHORE, SKANKYBITCH,SKANKYWHORE, SKIN FLUTE, SKINFLUTE, SKUM, SKUM BAG, SKUMBAG, SLANT, SLANT EYE, SLANTEYE, SLAVE, SLAVE DRIVER, SLAVEDRIVER, SLEEZE BAG, SLEEZE BALL, SLEEZEBAG, SLEEZEBALL, SLIDE IT IN, SLIDEITIN, SLIME, SLIME BALL, SLIME BUCKET, SLIMEBALL, SLIMEBUCKET, SLUT, SLUT WEAR, SLUT WHORE, SLUTS, SLUTT, SLUTTING, SLUTTY, SLUTWEAR, SLUTWHORE, SMACK DADDY, SMACK THE MONKEY, SMACKTHEMONKEY, SMAGMA, SMART ASS, SNATCH, SNATCH PATCH, SNATCHPATCH, SNIPER, SNOT, SODOMITE, SODOMY, SON OF A BITCH, SONOFABITCH, SONOFBITCH, SPANK THE MONKEY, SPANKTHEMONKEY, SPERM, SPERM BAG, SPERM HEARDER, SPERM HERDER, SPERMACIDE, SPERMBAG, SPERMHEARDER, SPERMHERDER, SPIC, SPICK, SPIT, SPITTER, SPLIT TAIL, SPLIT TIAL, SPLITTAIL, STAGG, STRAP ON, STRAPON985, STRINGER986, STRIP CLUB987, STRIPCLUB988, STROKE989, STROKING990, STUPID991, STUPID FUCK992, STUPID FUCKER, STUPIDFUCK, STUPIDFUCKER, SUCK, SUCK DICK, SUCK ME, SUCK MY ASS, SUCK MY DICK, SUCK MY TIT, SUCK OFF, SUCKDICK, SUCKER, SUCKM, SUCKMYASS, SUCKMYDICK, SUCKMYTIT, SUCKOFF, SUICIDE, SWIGN DIXX, SWING DIXX, SWINGIN DIXX, SWINGING DICKS, SYPHILIS, TAMPON, TESTICLE, TESTICLES, THIRD EYE, THIRD LEG, THIRDEYE, THIRDLEG, THREE SOME, THREESOME, TIT, TIT BIT NIPPLY, TIT FUCK, TIT FUCKER, TIT FUCKIN, TIT JOB, TIT LICKER, TIT LOVER, TITBITNIPPLY, TITFUCK, TITFUCKER, TITFUCKIN, TITJOB, TITLICKER, TITLOVER, TITS, TITTIES, TITTY, TONGETHRUSTER, TONGUE, TONGUE THRUSTER, TONGUE TRAMP, TONGUETHRUST, TONGUETRAMP, TOUNG THRUSTER, TOUNGE BALLER, TOUNGE THRUST, TRAILER TRASH, TRAILERTRASH, TRAMP, TRI SEXUAL, TRIPLE X, TRIPLEX, TRISEXUAL, TROJAN, TROTS, TUNNEL OF LOVE, TUNNELOFLOVE, TURD, TWO BIT WHORE, TWO ON ONE, TWOBITWHORE, UNFUCKABLE, UP THE ASS, UP THE BUTT, UPSKIRT, UPTHEASS, UPTHEBUTT, URINATE, URINE, UTERUS, VAGINA, VAGINAL, VD, VIBRATER, VIBRATOR, VIRGIN, VIRGIN BREAKER, VIRGINBREAKER, VULVA, WAYSTED, WEENIE, WET SPOT, WETSPOT, WHACKER, WHISKEY DICK,WHISKEYDICK, WHISKY DICK, WHISKYDICK, WHITE TRASH, WHITETRASH, WHORE, WHORE FUCKER, WHORE HOUSE, WHOREFUCKER, WHOREHOUSE, WIGGER, WILLIE WANKER, WILLIEWANKER, WUUTANG, XXX, YELLOW MAN, YELLOWMAN

Doug Stanhope: Voice of America - BP's Dawn Dish Soap Miracle

2011-12-01T01:05:00.000-05:00

A Broken Iraq In Pictures #17

2011-11-27T20:33:00.001-05:00

Turkey Day

2011-11-25T13:09:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was the one day every year that Americans celebrate in respect for the genocide they committed against the native population of the new land that they ultimately stole.

I mean... happy Thanksgiving.

But is there really a lot to be thankful for? Well concider this: at least 42 million American citizens are below the poverty line. No turkey for them.

P.S. - How do you cut a turkey the republican way? Give 1% of your guests 99% of the meat. Happy turkey day!

Kent State Redux

2011-11-22T14:31:00.008-05:00

UC Davis has a slight problem on it's hands kiddies...

Unless you don't read (or care) about the Occupy Movement, you would be hard pressed not to have learned about UC Davis Lieutenant John Pike (pictured left) pepper spraying a line of totally peaceful protesters directly in their faces. Kinda puts a cramp in the school recruiting for potential applicants.

You can view the video on YouTube by clicking here. It already has 2.3 million views.

Moreover, there are surfacing allegations that the school's own administration ordered the officers to remove the protesters. Ouch. The victims of the pepper spray attack are launching a law suit against Pike & UC Davis in the following days. Kiss your little scholarships good bye UC Davis.

On the lighter side of things, Lieutenant John Pike of the UC Davis campus police now has an advice blog, appropriately titled "Pikes Corner" - click here to hop over to it and give it a read - you'll be glad you did. However he mainly dishes out one answer to all of his questions... Bravo to Ryan Gielen for creating the blog.

Benetton Ad Has Pope Kissing Imam

2011-11-20T20:04:00.002-05:00

The ad has been (sadly) pulled by the Benetton clothing company. Benetton had said its "Unhate" campaign launched Wednesday is aimed at fostering tolerance and "global love." But that angered a few humorless religious types apparently.

The photo of the Pope had been on the company's website all day but was pulled about an hour after the Vatican's protest.

On the company's website, executive deputy chairman Alessandro Benetton is quoted as saying that global love is an ambitious but realistic goal. "At this moment in history, so full of major upheavals and equally large hopes, we have decided, through this campaign, to give widespread visibility to an ideal notion of tolerance and invite the citizens of every country to reflect on how hatred arises particularly from fear of 'the other’ and of what is unfamiliar to us," he said.

So naturally the Vatican wanted it pulled.

Canada Goes Polymer

2011-11-17T19:52:00.003-05:00

Canada just introduced a new $100 bill this week.

The Bank of Canada redesigns Canada's banknotes, aiming to thwart counterfeiters. The rate of fake bills was at an all-time high of 470 per million before a redesign done 2004, when Canadians were introduced to holographic stripes and other security features. The rate has since fallen to 35 bad bills per million today.

The new $100 bill has two portraits of ex PM Borden, plus an image of a researcher using a microscope and a depiction of DNA.

The Bank Of Canada says that the polymer in the new bills has a lighter environmental footprint. The bills are 2.5 times more durable than their cotton-based counterparts and can be recycled after they are taken out of circulation.

Canada's new $50 bills are scheduled to be released in March 2012. New $20 bills will be issued before the end of 2012, followed by new $10 and $5 notes in 2013.

Lest We Forget

2011-11-11T21:47:00.000-05:00

Today is Remembrance Day.

Just letting you know.

Once In A Life Time

2011-11-11T01:06:00.001-05:00

Today is the eleveneth day, of the eleventh month, of two thousand eleven. Or 11/11/11.

Just letting you know.

Backing Away From Armageddon

2011-11-06T22:21:00.005-05:00

Its a slow march down a long road. But it's happening. Making good on it's NEW START Treaty that promises 1,550 strategic warheads, (down from 2,200), the United States has taken a major step in ridding the world of a device that could make Chernobyl look like a mild sun burn.

America's most powerful weapon in it's entire inventory, the B53 bomb which has 136 kilograms of high explosives nad a nuclear pit made of uranium, will be dismantled - a year ahead of schedule.

It was constructed in 1962 - during the Cold War when the world was seriously considering the use of such weapons - again.

America's next largest bomb in operation will be the B83. It has a yield of 1.2 megatonnes. To put that in perspective the nuclear weapon that destroyed Hiroshima was 12 kilotones. The B53 was 9 megatones - or 9,000 kilotons.

From The "No Shit File" - 1 In 3 Vets See Wars As A Waste

2011-11-04T03:14:00.003-04:00

A Man eats nothing but beef his entire life. One day he takes a tour of a slaughterhouse. That same day he becomes a vegetarian. Can you blame him?

In a recently released Pew Research Center poll, 1 in 3 American veterans of the post-9/11 military believes the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan were not worth fighting, and a majority think that after 10 years of combat America should be focusing less on foreign affairs and more on its own problems.

Nearly half of post-9/11 veterans said deployments strained their relationship with their spouses, and a similar share reported problems with their children.

NATO Has Turned The Page In Libya

2011-11-03T20:24:00.002-04:00

The UN approved, NATO mission in Libya is over.

This comes after the death of Moammar Gadhafi, and it seems like its the one mission that has a clear end - compared to Iraq and Afghanistan at least. The mission lasted 7 months.

A Canadian General was in command of the campaign against Libya, now he's back on Canadian soil. Canada's contingent of 635 personal, 7 fighter jets, 2 patrol aircraft, two tankers, and two frigates are also back home.

The total cost of the mission for Canada was an estimated $50 million (CAN) dollars.

Next NATO mission Canada has to turn the page on: Afghanistan.

We'll see...

Doug Stanhope: Voice of America - Oprah: P.T. Barnum Of The New Millenium

2011-11-02T00:52:00.001-04:00

Now Serving Number 7,000,000,000

2011-11-01T19:39:00.004-04:00

Another milestone for humanity has been reached.

The U.N. has declared October 31st "The Day Of Seven Billion".

Seven billion people now call the earth home, just like you!

Remember: You're so unique!

We will reach 8 billion in about 2027... yay.

Boo!

2011-10-31T02:35:00.003-04:00

Time to play dress up and put on your Spiderman outfit if you're 7 years old tonight. And if your in your in your mid 20's or older, time to dress up and enjoy some drinks, recreational drug use, and make some questionable decisions.

Have fun mofos!

Awesome Movie Moments - "The Omen (2006)" Nightmare

2011-10-30T03:00:00.003-04:00

Awesome Movie Moments - "Phantasm" Boy...

2011-10-29T03:46:00.000-04:00

Awesome Movie Moments - "IT" Georgie Boy

2011-10-28T03:53:00.000-04:00

Awesome Movie Moments - "The Omen (1976)" Birthday Present

2011-10-27T03:04:00.001-04:00

Awesome Movie Moments - "Friday The 13th" Crystal Lake

2011-10-26T04:26:00.000-04:00

Awesome Movie Moments - "A Nightmare On Elm Street" Surprise

2011-10-25T04:49:00.000-04:00

They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To

2011-10-24T21:31:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure if any of you had the (mis)fortune of laying your bloodshot eyes on the Hellraiser: Revelations trailer in time for Halloween. You can click on the highlighted link if you didn't. But if you did, I'm sure you had your own little revelation: they don't make horror movies like they used to.

The new Hellraiser movie (the 9th of the franchise) was made for a reputed $300,000 - and buddy boy, does it ever show.

It's also the first Hellraiser movie without Doug Bradley (Pinhead) in it. He was replaced by Stephan Smith Collins. Maybe replaced is the wrong word... because Bradley had no intention of being in a movie that had a budget that was so far south of a million dollars.

Clive Barkers original Hellraiser horror film flew onto the big screen way back in 1987. Wow. Time flys huh?

I can remember picking up Barker's novel "The Hell-Bound Heart" a few years ago. Barker wrote that book prior to the original Hellraiser. It served as his jumping off point for the movie. It was a great morbid book, and followed up by a great classic horror movie.

Now that I think of it, I'm missing that book. I think I lent it to someone years ago, because they were so interested in the original Hellraiser they wanted to read the book that spawned it. Sadly I never got it back. But I have to think if I was reading a book about one of the newer Hellraiser movies, no one would even ask to borrow that particular book.

Right there is the difference between horror movies of the past versus the present. Modern horror (and movies in general) are shit. Why Hollywood feels it needs to fuck up these classic movies with a direct to DVD remake is anyone's guess.

Case in point: The Human Centipede 2. The first Human Centipede was shit, and the sequel... was... wait... shit too I guess, wait... there making a Human Centipede 2? Holy sweet flying fuck. Are they trying to run the horror industry into the ground?

Anywho... Clive Barker responded to the latest film on Twitter saying, "I want to put on record that the flic out there using the word Hellraiser IS NO FUCKIN' CHILD OF MINE! have NOTHING to do with the fuckin' thing. If they claim its from the mind of Clive Barker, it's a lie. It's not even from my butt-hole."

You can pick up Hellraiser: Revelations on DVD October 18th - and show it at a Halloween party... but you'd be a braver soul then I if you did.

Another Halloween Is Almost Here... Again

2011-10-23T02:32:00.000-04:00

It's a well established tradition of this site to run a few Halloween clips up to the event. So, once again I'll be posting some Halloween themed movie clips. Enjoy mofos!

Moammar Gadhafi: 1942-2011

2011-10-21T02:01:00.010-04:00

Rack another one up on the list of world leaders in the douchbag category who bit the dust.

After months of fierce fighting, Colonel Gadhafi (or Pete to his friends) has been killed in a crossfire in the town of Sirte.

He was reportedly pulled from a sewer pipe (pretty fitting) and shot once in the arm, and then once in the head (also pretty fitting).

Colonel Gafafi's ruled Libya from 1969 to 2011. He was linked to international terrorism on multiple occasions, and was nothing less than a monster to his own people - resorting to bombing them with his own air force in the early days of the 2011 Libya conflict.

Seems like the worlds dictators days are numbered, Saddam, Mubarak, Gadhafi...

On another lighter note, I guess my running blog gag featuring Gadhafi in "Crazy Gadhafi Photos" is gonna stop, seeing that he will no longer grace the world with his hilariously dressed presence.

So long, douchbag.

Remember Bradley Manning?

2011-10-10T03:22:00.002-04:00

From WikiLeaks Twitter Account (Click here to go there):

Bradley Manning has been detained for 498 days without trial. 1 year, 4 months, 10 days

Updating - Made Easy

2011-10-09T20:33:00.003-04:00

I try updating this blog two or three times a week. But that isn't always possible, and an occasional dry spell does happen. So if your tired of having to re-visit this blog over and over again to see if a new post is up, I've got a solution for ya.

I've added a nifty E-Mail notification bar to the right hand side of the blog. It's right underneath the "Random George W. Bush Quote Generator".

Just type in your E-Mail and vuala! You'll automatically receive a 100% automated, soul-less, un-caring self generated E-Mail telling you that there is a new post you can read. You heathens you.

Enjoy.

Canada In Libya... Month 7

2011-10-08T06:42:00.005-04:00

Newsflash boys and girls: NATO says that they will continue to conduct precision aerial strikes (bomb human beings) in Libya and stay in the area - 7 months after the mission began.

French Defence Minister Gerard Longuet said air strikes will not stop until all remaining pockets of resistance are suppressed and the new government asks for the bombing missions to end.

NATO has carried out more than 9,300 air strikes against Gadhafi's forces since the campaign started in March. Canadian fighters have logged over 400 flights in that country.

Canadian MPs voted back in September 26th in support of extending Canada's military mission in Libya by three months, bringing it up to the end of 2011.

Any bets on another mission extension?

Also in the news today, hundreds upon hundreds of Afghans have taken to the streets of the country's capital Kabul to demand the immediate withdrawal of all international troops.

I wounder how long its gonna take us to wear out or welcome in Libya...

The Stage Is Too Crowded With Crazy Already

2011-10-06T21:09:00.004-04:00

Dimwit extraordinaire, Sarah Palin (pictured left pleasuring three invisible cocks) says she doesn't "plan" to be a Republican Party candidate for president in 2012.

"After much prayer and serious consideration, I have decided that I will not be seeking the 2012 GOP nomination for president of the United States."

Good thing she prayed on it, because even a person with half a working brain in their head would come to the conclusion that her entire political career is a joke only fit for late night television. And blogs too I guess.

But don't give up hope if you want to see some crazy - Texas (oh fuck) Gov. Rick Perry looks to be throwing his hat into the ring.

By the way, Rick Perry goes everywhere with a gun on him. In the home, at press conferences, shopping - no joke.

Should be an interesting election...

Steve Jobs - Dead At 56

2011-10-05T20:56:00.003-04:00

Apple co-founder Steve Jobs has died today at the age of 56. He had been previously diagnosed, and treated with a type of pancreatic cancer. He was first diagnosed in 2004.

He stepped down from Apple in late August to deal with the effects of an "unspecified illness".

This is the same week that Apple is debuting their new iPhone 4S.

Steve is survived by his wife, Laurene Powell - they had three children together.

“Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me … Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful… that’s what matters to me.” - Steve Jobs, The Wall Street Journal, May 25, 1993

Doug Stanhope: Voice of America - Abortion Is Green

2011-10-01T00:44:00.001-04:00

Root For The Bull

2011-09-28T15:17:00.006-04:00

Does it make me a bad guy when I root for the animal who is tortured prior to the "show" and has no hope of a fair fight in this story? No, it doesn't.

Spain has finally joined the 21st century in a small way, and enacted a regional ban on bullfighting in that country.

I say a small way, because the "running of the bulls" is still alive and well there. And it's just a regional ban.

Only the Catalonia region of Spain is banning the barbaric practice. Not the whole country. In fact, Catalonia is just the second of Spain's 17 regions to ban bullfighting.

Maybe PETA should put the cork back on the champagne. There is still a bit of work to do yet.

Its good to finally see people waking up to the realization of the age old tradition of a matador driving a sword into the bull's heart and (ideally) killing it outright, but more often than not stabbing the animal (over and over again) in its back and body is simply barbaric and cruel.

But then again, look on the flip side. At least we will be treated to pictures like the one above until the practice becomes history.

Equal Opportunity Killers

2011-09-27T16:09:00.003-04:00

Its official: the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy which has stood for years in America's Armed Forces is now officially gone for good.

Also in the news: The sky hasn't fallen.

If I'm Elected...

2011-09-15T00:10:00.006-04:00

Most fairy tales start with, "Once upon a time..."

Others start, "If elected I will..."

In that vain, I've decided to see how you, the regular motherfucker can can manage the Ontario (Canadian) budget by clicking here.

Spoiler alert: we are fucked out of the gates.

The Cardboard Cutout With Bad Hair To Match

2011-09-10T00:45:00.000-04:00

Justin Bieber is in Yellowknife, Canada!

Well, maybe not; but a cardboard cutout of him complete with the same ridiculous hairdo is! Its in a the towns local drug store. Its to promote his new cologne (I'm not kidding) called "Someday" (I'm not kidding).

And guess what, every girl in the town is taking their picture in front of it and oggling it. Shocker.

To make this story more vomit inducing, the local drug store has recieved 20 calls a day from girls wanting to take the cutout home with them after the promotion is over.

Little known fact: every time Justin Bieber sells a CD, a book commits suicide.

Jack Layton (1950-2011)

2011-09-07T23:53:00.007-04:00

Late news posting, as I've been quite busy, but still very news worthy all the same...

NDP Leader Jack Layton (1950-2011) has died August 22nd at his Toronto home after a battle with cancer. He was 61.

Layton was given a state funeral by the current Prime Minister, Stephen Harper. He was laid in state in Parliament Hill, then in his home riding of Toronto. An honor normally reserved for past or present Prime Ministers, and Governor Generals.

For years, Layton was a strong political voice in the struggles against poverty, unemployment, women's rights, gay rights, government accountability and transparency. And he recently lead his NDP party to new heights by winning 103 out of 308 seats in the House of Commons - largely rendering the Liberal Party and the Quebec Bloc out of any relevance in Canadian politics.

Layton did have a great recent quote during an election debate against Liberal party leader Michael Ignatieff and (defeated) Prime Minister hopeful: "You expect a promotion and don't even show up to work". Zing.

Toronto City Hall was covered with chalk messages honoring Layton after the news of his death broke. And makeshift memorials were set up on Parliament Hill and all over Toronto. In fact, there was a massive line which stretched along all of Parliament Hill where people stood in line to sign a book of condolences. Both the CN Tower and Niagara Falls were lit orange in his honor (orange being the NDP color).

Before his death, he released a statement, which can be read in it's entirety by clicking here. Among it, Layton said that "My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world."

Jack Layton will no doubt go down in Canadian history as one of the best Prime Minsters that we never had.

Doug Stanhope: Voice of America - Jack Cafferty Dosen't Care What You Think

2011-09-01T00:42:00.000-04:00

The Entire U.S. Stealth Fighter Fleet Is Grounded

2011-08-18T23:08:00.006-04:00

The U.S. can honestly say their enemies will never see them coming, because they won't actually be coming.

Billions and billions of dollars later, after building more than 170 F-22 Raptors and a handful of F-35 Joint Strike Fighters, not a single one of them is flying. The Air Force currently has zero flyable stealth fighters. Zero... None... Wow...

The F-22 has been grounded with a faulty oxygen system since May. The newer F-35 is suspended too, because of a valve problem in the plane’s integrated power package. Whoops.

But all is not lost. The U.S. still does have the very capable "Super Hornet" fighter aircraft however

Speaking of which, while we're on the subject, the Super Hornet is the aircraft that Canada should have bought, instead of the F-35 which will cost Canada at least $30 Billion for just 65 aircraft. The Super Hornet however has a cost of $55 million (U.S. funds) per aircraft - a little more down to earth.

Oh yeah, and the Super Hornet actually fucking flys. Kinda an important criteria for a warplane.

The current cost for the Joint Strike Fighter program is $382 billion and rising for more than 2,400 aircraft.

The Ten Commandments Broken Down

2011-08-16T00:26:00.001-04:00

The Dark Knight Rises

2011-08-12T15:57:00.003-04:00

Even though it's a long way off yet, this new Batman movie has been making the news lately about casting, and some new leaked pics - like Batman fighting Bane (pictured).

Apart from Tom Hardy as being cast as the muscle head villain "Bane", Anne Hathaway has been cast as Selina Kyle (Catwoman).

By the way, Hardy gained 30 pounds of muscle for the role, increasing his weight to 198 pounds.

But probably the best news is that Nolan explained that as long as he is directing, Robin will not be appearing in the franchise. Holy common fucking sense Batman.

This soon to be blockbuster has an estimated budget of a whopping $250 million.

The Dark Knight Rises will be the third and final installment in Nolan's Batman film series. Look for a release in the United States and Canada on July 20, 2012.

Less Quoted Jesus Sayings No. 28

2011-08-10T21:12:00.001-04:00

"I'm gonna put my Sodom in Betty White's Gomorrah" - Jesus

Bill Burr - Population Control

2011-08-08T18:15:00.000-04:00

Disco Balls & Bell Bottoms

2011-08-06T15:40:00.003-04:00

"I believe the long Liberal era is genuinely, truly ending. As with disco balls and bell bottoms, Canadians have moved on." - Prime Minister Stephen (The Softest Hand's In Politics) Harper

But cowboy hats are still totally in. And yes, that's a real picture of our dear leader.

Little known fact: Stephen Harper's hair is actually a sentient being.

The Big 5-0

2011-08-04T16:45:00.002-04:00

Blow out all those candles! The president of the United States just turned 50 today.

Members of Obama's staff will toast the president in the Blue Room of the White House. He'll celebrate with family and friends, including some coming in from his hometown of Chicago, then cap the festivities with a weekend trip to Camp David.

All and all not a bad way to celebrate, even with one or two more grey hairs.

Countdown To Zero - Iraq Edition

2011-08-03T15:21:00.004-04:00

Hope you were keeping track mofos, because U.S. forces in Iraq are planning to draw down to zero in December 31st - a deadline that is rapidly approaching. But here's the kicker kiddies: the Joint Chiefs Of Staff are saying if Iraq wants American forces to remain to train and assist Iraqi security forces after December 31st, Iraqi leaders need to make the request soon.

This is kinda (very) reminiscent of like how Canada stoped all combat operations in Afghanistan, but stayed on board to conduct training for the Afghanistan Armed Forces.

One other minor point, the Joint Chiefs are saying that if troops are approved to stay past the deadline, American troops must be given "immunity from prosecution" as part of any agreement to keep them in Iraq beyond the end of the year and that this protection must be approved by Iraq's parliament. One or two problems I could think about that off the top of my head.

Washington has offered to let up to 10,000 U.S. troops stay and continue training Iraqi forces on tanks, fighter jets and other military equipment.

Iraq is also in line to purchase 36 F-16 fighter planes from the U.S., which is a jump from the 18 they initially planned to purchase.

Right now, about 46,000 American forces are in Iraq. We'll see if in December that number is zero... but I wouldn't hold my breath.

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words

2011-08-02T22:36:00.004-04:00

Recently, the church's child protection chief was caught red handed with trying to upload over 4,000 pictures on his computer... I'll give you a second or two so you can think about what kind of pictures he was trying to upload... if you said child porn, well, I owe you a Coke!

I hope that 4,000 pictures should be worth quite the argument against the church...

Christopher Jarvis, 49, a former social worker, was employed by the church following sex scandals about pervert priests. He was arrested after uploading pictures of children being abused to a website.

He was caught by police in March with more than 4,000 child porn images on his home computer and his work laptop. He admitted 12 counts of making, possessing and distributing indecent images, and is likely to face jail when he returns to court for sentencing next month.

By the way, if you'd like a list of "Stuff Catholics Have So Far Blamed for the Church’s Pedophilia Scandal On" then click here. Courtesy of Gawker.com

"Don’t Ask Don’t Tell" Officially Becomes "Don’t Know Don’t Care"

2011-07-23T03:45:00.007-04:00

One of the stupidest laws of the land is now finally history.

President Obama fulfilled a 2008 campaign promise today when he announced that in 60 days the military will make all necessary preparations to allow gays to serve openly in the armed forces - thereby abolishing the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy that has stood for years.

Obama announced earlier that there will be no new military charges laid against armed forces personal under the DADT law.

Senator Mark Udall, a member of the Senate Armed Services and Intelligence committees, issued the following statement about the recent turn of events:

“For almost two decades, we’ve had a policy that dishonored our troops and compromised our national security because it encouraged qualified service members to lie about their identity. Our men and women in uniform have been ahead of us for some time on this issue. They know that what counts in battle isn’t your sexual orientation but your courage, strength, intelligence, training and loyalty."

Of the 26 countries that participate militarily in NATO, more than 22 permit gay people to serve. 54 countries disallow homosexuals from serving in the military.

13,650 people or more have been thrown out of the armed forces under the DADT law.

"Don't Ask, Dont Tell" will officially end September 20, 2011.

Jim Jefferies - Religion

2011-07-21T17:03:00.000-04:00

Bonkers

2011-07-18T14:21:00.005-04:00

"Sam Harris made that great analogy. He said 'if someone was talking into their hair dryer and claiming that they were speaking to god, they would call Bellevue. But, take way the hair dryer, it's just praying. " - Bill Maher

The Projection

2011-07-15T16:52:00.000-04:00

Less Quoted Jesus Sayings No. 27

2011-07-14T16:05:00.001-04:00

"VA-va-va-VOOM!" - Jesus

Canada In Libya

2011-07-13T13:08:00.012-04:00

Just as Canada's combat mission in Afghanistan winds down (finally), there is still lots of combat to be had in Libya for Canada.

In fact, The House of Commons has overwhelmingly voted to extend Canada's mission in Libya for 3 and a half months - as of June 14. That vote passed 294-1, with Green Party Leader Elizabeth May being the lone member of Parliament to vote against.

May said her rational against the vote was because she was against giving "a blank cheque to a mission that doesn't have an exit strategy." Humm, that kinda sounds familiar.

Add to this that a Canadian, Lt.-Gen. Charles Bouchard will lead NATO forces in a mission tasked with protecting Libyans from forces loyal to Gadhafi. But the official NATO mission is still kinda murky. Originally, it was to enforce a United Nations backed mission of a "no fly zone". Now... well... NATO's mission in Libya is as much your guess as it is mine.

Canadian Defense Minister Peter MacKay (pictured) has said that Canadian military involvement in Libya has already cost $26 million, and that figure could rise to $60 million (or more) by September. This is in part due to the fact that more than 300 laser-guided bombs have been dropped from Canadian CF-18 fighter aircraft over Libya. The military actually had to order more bombs to conduct more bombings in fact. Canadian fighter aircraft have flown over 1,750 hours (minimum). Canada has about 650 personal contributed to the mission. This number often varies however. Canada has deployed seven (6 front line, 1 reserve) CF-18 fighter jets, two CC-150 Polaris refuelling aircraft, two CC-177 Globemaster III heavy transports, two CC-130J Super Hercules tactical transports, and two CP-140 Aurora maritime patrol aircraft.

But to be fair, Canadian fighters have called off attacks against ground targets on more than one occasion, as civilian casualties were deemed to be too much of a risk to continue to bomb targets on the ground.

Additionally this week, the warship HMCS Vancouver set sail relieve HMCS Charlottetown, which has been in action off the Libyan coast since March.

But a little perspective about the cost of war: the U.S and the U.K have launched 110tomahawk cruise missiles at Libyan targets. Each missile costs $569,000 each. That's $62,590,000 total. That's more than what Canada is projected to spend by the time the mission is due to hit it's extension deadline - I did the math. U.S. operations in Libya had cost $664 million US by mid-May, and are expected to greatly exceed the initial Pentagon estimate of $750 million. U.S. costs for the Libya mission are around $2 million US a day.

I think Elizabeth May's vote against this war may be making more sense with every day that passes...

Louis CK - 20 Year Olds & Race On Leno

2011-07-12T17:15:00.000-04:00

It's World Population Day!

2011-07-11T17:14:00.002-04:00

The United Nations has declared every July 11th World Population Day. So blow out the candles because its here yet again; and this year will mark a major milestone: our planets population is soon to hit 7 billion this year.

Lets have a little perspective. Turning back the hands of time, in 1804 there were 1 billion people in the world. There were 5 billion of us on this planet in 1987. Sometime this year, the U.N. figures that we will hit 7 billion. That's a lot of hungry mouths to feed. I wonder how we'll feed them... of wait, some of them simply won't be fed. In 2009 alone, 8.1 million children under 5 years of age died from hunger. In Chad alone, there were 209 out of 1,000 children who fall into the "child mortality" bracket - as of 2009's figures.

The vast majority of births are in developing counties - with 97/100 births occurring there.

Maybe we shouldn't be celebrating this day after all...

"Tonight I'm Just A Man With A Raging Hard On"

2011-07-10T17:19:00.002-04:00

Hopefully the title of this article grabbed your attention.

Democrat congressman Anthony Weiner (ex-congressman now I guess) took a page straight outta Tiger Woods play book by sexting some chick. Oh yeah, click here to read the past article on this blog about Tiger Woods sexts. Pretty good stuff - mofo.

Anyway, back on topic. From about August to June Weiner had a Facebook text style love affair with Las Vegas blackjack dealer Lisa Weiss. This included of course weiner taking a picture of his cock for all to see, and was later posted all over the Internet - in both clothed, and nude forms. Just do a google search of "Anthony Weiner Cock" and I'm sure you'll find it - you little sleuths you.

The mainstream media didn't release the congressman's sexts... so I'm going to. A complete listing off all of Anthony Weiner's sexts is avalable from the link here, just click to view. Courtesy of Radar Online.

But for now, I'll leave you with a few of Weiner's sext highlights:

"your pussy still tight and wet for me baby?"

"think of my rock hard cock. practice saying, 'god, anthony, i'm cumming again'"

"baby you'd be crawling for the door to prevent me from fucking you silly"

"it needs your pussy juice"

"you give good head?"

"thinking about gagging your hot mouth with my cock"

"i'm pretty chatty/noisy in bed"

"tonight i'm just a man with a raging hard on"

End Of An Era: 135th And Final Mission For The Space Shuttle

2011-07-09T17:08:00.001-04:00

The space shuttle Atlantis was launched today for not only it's 33rd and final mission, but as NASA's shuttle programs final mission.

Atlantis will carry 3.5 tons of supplies to the international space station (ISS) on it's 12 day trip.

When she returns to earth, Atlantis will be turned into a museum piece at the Kennedy Space Center in Cape Canaveral, Florida. She will join the other shuttles that have been retired and share a similar fate. Those surviving shuttles include the Discovery, Endeavour, and Enterprise.

The shuttles Challenger and Columbia were destroyed in flight with a launch failure and a re-entry failure, respectively.

The space shuttles logged 135 missions in total, and have seen 355 astronauts taken into space.

There are several replacements on the drawing board for the shuttle, but it seems that NASA hasn't picked out a permanent replacement vehicle as of yet. Indeed, its hard to believe that any other space faring vehicle(s) will conjure up the iconic symbolism as the space shuttle did.

Canada's Navel Nightmare: The Upholder Class

2011-07-08T23:36:00.010-04:00

Every once in a while there is a story in my country that makes me want to pound back a bottle of whiskey like I'm a kid again. The story of Canada's submarines is just one such example.

I've written about the HMCS Chicoutimi before on this blog (click here to revisit that post way back in December 2009) but there have been some new revelations about just how piss poor these submarines are. So I'm going to go into detail and describe them to you. Buckle up amigo.

The four boats were leased to the Canadians for $427 million in US funds (plus US$98 million for upgrades and alteration to Canadian standards), with the lease to run for eight years; after this, the submarines would be sold for £1.

Here are some stats on the subs: they displace 2,400 tonnes. They are 70 meters long and have a beam of 7.5 meters. They have a speed of 12 knots (surfaced) and 20 knots (submerged). 20 knots is equal to 37 kilometer a hour by the way. They have a diving depth of approximately 200 meters. They have a crew of 48, and has an endurance of 45 days.

Now lets go into each of the four subs that we have in a bit of migraine inducing detail shall we.

HMCS Victoria (SSK 876)
HMCS Victoria (pictured... in dry dock) was commissioned on 2 December 2000. On arrival in Halifax, Victoria was placed into dockyard for refitting. This was originally scheduled to take six months, but was not completed until 2003. 2 and a half years over schedule. Between 2000 and 2010, Victoria has only been at sea for 115 days. That equals out to just 3.1% total sea time. I did the math. It is expected to re-enter service in mid-2011, after six years in dry dock. It is currently in the water undergoing "trials". Trails is navy terminology to get the kinks out of a boat. After 11 years she is currently undergoing "trials"?

HMCS Windsor (SSK 877)
In 2007 the submarine entered Halifax for refit. Originally scheduled for completion in two years, the refit was still not complete as of early 2011. In the year 2010 alone, the Canadian navy spent $45 million on repairs to HMCS Windsor. It had budgeted to spend just $17 million. Every system on the British-built submarine has major problems. They including bad welds in the hull, broken torpedo tubes, a faulty rudder and tiles on the side of the sub that continually fall off. Windsor won't be fully operational until almost 2013. Because the submarine has been in dry dock in Halifax for so long, it has become a bird sanctuary. I'm not joking. The navy spent thousands of dollars just trying to keep the pigeons from roosting in the vessel.

HMCS Corner Brook (SSK 878)
Between October 2006 and January 2008, Corner Brook was active for only 81 days. In June of 2011 the submarine ran aground during naval manoeuvres off Vancouver Island. Translated into civilian lingo: a ship designed for the sea managed hit the shoreline. Two soldiers were lightly injured.

HMCS Chicoutimi (SSK 879)
The Chicoutimi is of course famous for the fire and subsequent deaths the occurred on board on her maiden voyage from England to Canada. See my other post on the blog by clicking here for those full details. In April 2006, it was announced that repair priorities had shifted; Chicoutimi would remain in dry dock until at least 2010, and would likely not be seaworthy again until 2012.

Canadian Combat Troops Head Home

2011-07-07T23:18:00.007-04:00

It's been years in the making, and it's happening. Canada's combat role in Afghanistan is officially over. July 5th marked the date when Canadian soldiers officially signed over their command of the Panjwai Task Force to American forces. Today January 7th marked the day when Canada officially ceased all combat operations in that country. This ends nearly 10 full years of a Canadian military presence - kinda.

To be perfectly clear, Canada will withdraw its 2,850 combat troops, but 950 other forces will arrive in Afghanistan soon to help train the Afghan security forces.

Canada has been the 6th largest troop contributing nation in Afghanistan, behind the U.S. and several European nations.

As for what other countries are up to, President Obama (US) has announced that 33,000 of 90,000 troops will leave next summer. Prime Minister Cameron (UK) said that of 9,000 troops in country, 500 will be withdrawn by the end of 2012. Germany still has 4,812 troops there currently, France has 3,935 troops, and Italy has 3,880 troops.

Canada has contributed $1.7 billion in aid that has been disbursed in Afghanistan since 2002. Some projects were great, like building (at last count) 41 schools, and the project that rehabilitated the Dahla Dam. Also millions of children were vaccinated against polio and other diseases. However, who knows what will happen to those schools, and other projects like road reconstruction in a few years.

Today, Canadian troops held a moment of silence for their fallen comrades.

157 Canadian soldiers, 1 foreign affairs official, and 4 Canadian civilians have died in Afghanistan.

Awesome Movie Moments - "Star Trek: Generations" Bird of Prey

2011-07-01T22:55:00.000-04:00

Bill Maher The Decider Extras

2011-06-22T23:04:00.002-04:00

Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber

2011-06-18T23:07:00.002-04:00

Visit Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber dot com by clicking here to see some pretty hilarious pics of the guy you love to hate.

Seriously though, he's the anti-christ.

Awesome Movie Moments - "Star Trek" Punch It

2011-06-17T22:51:00.002-04:00

Senate Page Fired For Anti Harper Protest

2011-06-16T22:24:00.014-04:00

Brigette DePape, 21, a University of Ottawa graduate, carried a sign reading "Stop Harper" and walked out in front of Governor General David Johnston as he read the speech from the throne from Stephen "The Adonis" Harper's government.

She of course was escorted out of the senate building, and promptly released... Fired, in layman's terms.

Her protests comes as Harper was to outline the government's new agenda. Some of which think (not the least was DePape) is a step in the wrong direction for Canada.

In all fairness though, this story really distracts Canadians from the real important issues that matter to average Canadians. Such as Stephen Harper posting a note on his official Facebook page asking people to pick a name for his family's new grey tabby kitty cat. I'm serious.

Harper may have won the recent election, but people ain't happy. Hackers attacked Harper's political homepage recently too. This protest stuff is really starting to pile on. I'm starting to think people aren't to fond of Harper these days.

The day when Brigette DePape held her protest, politicians said that she would never find another job for the rest of her life... Michael Moore has just given Brigette DePape a job offer for her protest one day after she was fired.

Little known fact: Stephen Harper hasen't taken a breath since 1984

I Own Malibu

2011-06-15T22:15:00.002-04:00

"You look like a fucking pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of niggers, it will be your fault." - Mel "The Liberal" Gibson

My High School Boyfriend Was Gay

2011-06-14T22:08:00.000-04:00

From the site:

My High School Boyfriend Was Gay is a celebration of our most tragic, hilarious and heinous teenage memories. Gays, do you have a memorable shot of you posing with your galpal that is screaming to be captioned? Ladies, do you have a picture of you and your ex-boyfriend who was obviously gay? Then do it! MHSBFWG wants your pictures of couples where something seems a little off. Just remember: Keep it clean. Keep it fun. All photographs should be submitted by an adult (18+) that has the consent of both parties pictured. Don't be a dick and ruin the fun.

Click here to view the page.

Bill Maher & Joy Behar

2011-06-07T02:01:00.000-04:00

Australians Say It's Time To Ditch The Union Jack

2011-06-04T20:27:00.004-04:00

A nation's flag says so much about it. No surprise then if you have another nation's flag in the upper corner of yours, its a constant reminder of things past... and it can kinda be a bit of a piss off too.

While the debate about Australia ditching the Union Jack has been going on for several years now, it looks like the debate has been given a well needed shot in the arm so to speak.

Several recipients of the "Australian of the Year" award have come forward saying it's time for Australia to once again get a proper flag. In so doing, Australia would have a better national identity - so the rational goes.

Once again the debate has started about holding a national vote on if a new flag should be designed. Speaking of which, click here to go to ausflag. Its a web site dedicated about new flags for the country, but some of the designs are hit and miss.

I'm sure Australia will get it's newly deserved flag, and I'm sure it will be great; it's just a question of how soon it will happen.

On a side note, being Canadian I love the way our flag looks. It's unique. Its so much better without the Union Jack as a reminder of us being under the thumb of a foreign ruler. Canada has never looked back once we dropped the Union Jack, and I'm sure the people of Australia won't either.

Casualties Of War

2011-06-03T20:10:00.013-04:00

From the web site:

The hell of war comes home. In July 2009 Colorado Springs Gazettea published a two-part series entitled “Casualties of War”. The articles focused on a single battalion based at Fort Carson in Colorado Springs, who since returning from duty in Iraq had been involved in brawls, beatings, rapes, drunk driving, drug deals, domestic violence, shootings, stabbings, kidnapping and suicides. Returning soldiers were committing murder at a rate 20 times greater than other young American males. A seperate investiagtion into the high suicide rate among veterans published in the New York Times in October 2010 revealed that three times as many California veterans and active service members were dying soon after returning home than those being killed in Iraq and Afghanistan combined. We hear little about the personal hell soldiers live through after returning home.

Visit the web site by clicking here.

In 5 Seconds - Signs

2011-06-02T20:08:00.002-04:00

This Just In

2011-06-01T19:54:00.003-04:00

Sarah Palin nominates an unborn fetus as running mate in 2012 election.

The Pope Has An iPhone App - No Really

2011-05-18T13:00:00.001-04:00

Joe Ratzinger (the pope to his homies) has just blessed the launch of a new catholic iPhone app.

It's described as "the perfect aid for every penitent", it offers users tips to help them with the sacrament.

Best of all, it's only $2 bucks. So much for that vow of poverty - I'm sure Jesus would have wanted it that way anyway.

The pope (pictured left) went on to say, "It is important always to remember that virtual contact cannot and must not take the place of direct human contact with people at every level of our lives." I guess that is also true for the continued systematic molesting of young boys by the church. That still goes on by the way... Even today... Right now... Just letting you know.

Crazy Gaddafi Photos #9

2011-05-17T13:00:00.000-04:00

Binyamin Netanyahu On Real Time With Bill Maher

2011-05-16T13:00:00.000-04:00

Falling (Brass) Stars In The Pentagon

2011-05-15T13:00:00.004-04:00

With the U.S. debt soaring, and it's economy in bad shape, the government is looking to save some much needed funds over the next few years. It's so bad that traditionally sacred defence spending isn't even safe from claw backs.

Defense Secretary Robert Gates began trimming some of the immense Pentagon waste.

100+ flag officer positions, 140 generals / admirals are getting downgraded or cut out, and several hundred contractor jobs are on the cutting block scheduled to get the axe over the course of the next 5 years.

Gates plans to save approximately 13 billion dollars. But that is a drop in the proverbial bucket: The pentagon has a 553 billion dollar annual budget.

Long Gone

2011-05-14T13:00:00.000-04:00

If the Mayans were so all seeing... why did their calendar extend so far past their own demise?

A Crutch For Consolation

2011-05-13T13:00:00.000-04:00

"Many of us saw religion as harmless nonsense. Beliefs might lack all supporting evidence but, we thought, if people needed a crutch for consolation, where's the harm? September 11th changed all that." - Richard Dawkins

Exclusive Interview with Bill Maher on National Lampoon - Aug 30, 2010

2011-05-12T13:00:00.001-04:00

Leave It To Ike

2011-05-11T13:00:00.001-04:00

"Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed." - Dwight Eisenhower

Amnesty International - Death Penalty

2011-05-10T13:00:00.000-04:00

AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL from Digital District™ VFX Post-Pro on Vimeo.

Crazy Gaddafi Photos #8

2011-05-09T13:00:00.000-04:00

Nixon Quote #39

2011-05-08T13:00:00.001-04:00

"There are some instances where you may be ahead of us, for example, in the development of the thrust of your rockets for the investigation of outer space; there may be some instances in which we are ahead of you--in color television, for instance." - Richard M. Nixon

NEWMAN!

2011-05-07T13:00:00.000-04:00

"Dodgson, Dodgson, we have Dodgson here!"

Crazy Gaddafi Photos #7

2011-05-06T13:00:00.004-04:00

Stephen Harper Wins Majority Conservative Canadian Government

2011-05-05T13:00:00.003-04:00

Prime Minister Stephen (The Whitest Man You Know) Harper has been re-elected with a Majority Conservative government in this election.

Jack Layton is the new leader of the Official Opposition, after his New Democratic Party easily walked all over the Liberals and the Bloc Québécois and into second place.

The Liberal's leader Michael Ignatieff lost his seat in his home riding. Ouch. The Liberals have lost their Official Opposition status. Ignatieff is resigned after leading the Liberals to their worst defeat in history. Double touch. Under the party's constitution, after Ignatieff's resignation, a leadership vote must be held within six months. Outside of the maritime provinces, the Liberal Party is now largely irrelevant.

The Bloc Québécois leader Gilles Duceppe resigns as party leader after losing his home riding. “I’m leaving, but others will follow, until Quebec becomes a country,” Mr. Duceppe said. It's that attitude that cost the Bloc almost all their seats, and allowed the NDP to crush the Bloc, thereby rendering the Bloc largely obsolete. The NDP picked up the majority of their new seats in Quebec alone. Seems the Quebec separatist issue is long gone, instead people in Quebec now have a voice in federal politics under the NDP. They just got tired of throwing their vote away under the Bloc Québécois.

Elizabeth May of the Green Party won her first seat ever. She won by more than 2,000 votes.

All this after the Liberals called an election - and got their ass handed to them in a high hat. To put that into perspective, it would be like negotiating with your boss for a higher salary then what you're getting, and your boss firing you after the interview. Kinda a tough pill to swallow.

All and all, it was a good day to be Stephen Harper or Jack Layton.

Little known fact: Stephen Harper casts no shadow.